I am always judged because of my flaws especially on the face. All flaws are noticeable if you have fair skin. Right? Unfortunately, some or even most (Im not saying all, ha?) people here in our country love to comfort themselves by looking for flaws of those who have fair skin. Idk but I really think we’re all vain here. Almost all the people that I talk to keep on looking at my skin. I rarely see people who can talk to me using eye to eye contact.
I experienced this a lot of time and here are some that I will never forget. The first one was when I was riding a jeepney. There were two friends who were talking and saying not all fair skinned people are beautiful. They looked at me then they laugHed. (Well actually it’s always the most comforting message here but I think it’s the same when you have kayumanggi skin but if your attitude is like that, you’re ugly too so quits lang)
The second thing that I remember and hated was the evaluation of my internship. Guess what my supervisor wrote for my weakness? Wear more makeup. I was hoping that my weakness is about my performance or attitude. Third, there was an employee in that company who joked our friend while having lunch. Oh look, Diana’s skin is really fair. Then our “friend” reacted and said “I may have dark skin but Im flawless” with a smirk on her face.
I still think it’s good that I made them all feel better about themselves and I might have even raised their confidence level. I just dont like that people will only feel good about themselves when they judge others. All they said affected my self esteem. I actually do not want to socialize with friends unless it’s a school thing. Yep, if you’re my friend and reading this. Now you know why I’m not always going to our hangouts.
(If you have flawless skin, then you’re lucky because you dont have to spend A LOT of money. I’m really trying my best to remove these dark spots and lessen my pimples. I just had chickenpox last month and it added to my dark spots that cant be fully covered by makeup. I still have to socialize for the rest of this month. After our graduation, I will take a break and fix myself. I’m planning to buy a package of Revlite laser treatment. The package has four sessions so Im hoping that’s enough to minimize my imperfections. Im going to review that treatment soon!
P.S. I dont hate our country or its people. Im not also fishing for compliments. I keep on thinking about this since Febraury of this year after my internship. Thinking of it every night before I sleep too. I thought I needed to let it out already so I wont have any heavy feeling inside me.